Thursday, January 19, 2006
resurrection
woah. it seems like forever that i've finally gotten myself a new blog. the very last one entry that i've vaguely scribbled in seems to have been erased together with my theatrics blog at opendiary. i can't believe that i can drag in my lazy ass and my totally wasted brain into doing something that has a slight resemblance to writing -- one of my hobbies-turned-pet peeve. the many perils of GP lessons and terrible marking downs by ms chia has made me somewhat afraid of penning down my ideas on paper, after all i don't really like the idea of correction and restrictive writings that would lead to more rejections (with my standards, lar).before i digress even further, i guess i better come clean with the real reason that i'm starting to write in stupid (yes, i'm quite a cynic) online diaries again. i have been extremely bored over the past few days, weeks and month. best buddies and acquaintances have both left me for far flung places around the world and not so far flung places like pulau tekong...which has perpetually left me congested inside. my thoughts are all floating around my head; there's so much to gripe and cheer about my new life now, but there's no one to turn to. except myself. so tadda: dear blog, you shall be my THE one to help me reorganise my emotions and feelings, so at the end of the day, i'll be able to tell myself that i'm hellava lucky girl. (that is secretly pathetic, announcing to everyone that she is confiding in something that is non-exsistent.)
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my life has really changed 180 degrees ever since my friends have left me one by one. i no longer enjoy the frivolous lifestyle of korean dramas, driving school trips and afternoon cat naps. at the very beginning, it was fun just to be able to bum around and have my OWN time to myself...something that i've not been able to enjoy properly in the past 4 years. alot of my time had been (sadly) invested into school work. there were so many things that i was really looking forward to : teach at RV full-time, go chiong a class 3A license, french lessons at the alliance francaise, learn to boogie board in bali, tour china with sy and yt....arh. but thats why we should always have back up plans just in case. i've decided to turn to my next best option : work the shit out and earn some quick bucks for my daily upkeep and low-maintenance fee. i eventually realised that it was just stupid of me to be waiting all the while for people to keep to their promises. hardly ever comes true in the case of me and my friends.
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work is definitely an experience: the dilemmas of choosing formal outfits the night before, peeping next door at the cute german guy, wishing that the clock would reach 6pm. days after calling up all the schroeders, ulrigchs, laukes, i've learnt to be slightly braver , slightly more independant. i love to hear their exclaimations when they hear i'm only sweet eighteen as compared to the other much older and mature interns, and i love to peep over to the next cubicle and watch the german guy rattle off in deutsch. haha absolute coolness. perhaps one day i'll learn to speak german too. as for now, the piles of document is stacking up at an alarmingly rate -- one that would make me feel uneasy and fustrated as i sit here to type, knowing that tomorrow may not be a slack day for me. arh and he's leaving tomorrow too. =(
arh so i'll be saying goodbye to him tomorrow. hopefully i will get to meet him again at the german expo somewhere down the road. i've been saying goodbye to lotsa people and things over the past month; and even the old world that i grew up in around the people whom i really cared for seems to be getting more hazy. so goodbye's the word today and that's all for now.
ilovetotwirl at 6:36 AM
