Thursday, January 11, 2007
home is where the heart is
Life's almost perfect for now, but sadly it wouldn't last forever.Over the past week, I've received enough snide comments about how my jawline is slowing disappearing into my neck, that I have 2 chins too many and that my hair (horrors of all horrors) has lost its sheen. Whatever it is, I've braved all these insecurities and criticism to come home. I've learnt to appreciate the smell of acid rain, sleeping with a noisy fan and to stop complaining about homecook food.
Its so hard to be straddling between two very different cultures. I remember how it seemed so surreal that one moment I had to slur my speech in LA and than 24 hours later I was in Chinatown happily eating Popiah and spouting Singlish while being stuck in all the different time zones.
Today visiting NUS made me realize what I had chose to sacrifice when I made the decision to go overseas. Somehow, it meant giving up on camaderie and doing things my way. Sure I've made a bunch of good friends in school over there, but everything feels different; having to screen my Singlish thoughts before slang-ing them off the tip of my tongue so that I wouldn't sound so *erm* British. And then the need to pepper my speech with The O.C variants like sweet, awesome and cool so that I wouldn't seem so much like a PRC scholar to them.
But then again, it was my conscious decision to be thrown into an unfamiliar environment thousands of miles away so that I could achieve the most out from my young adult life. Somehow the world here seems to small for me and I would feel stifled by the rote learning in the education system and the competitive learning environment. A classic example of how the thoughts of the heart and head diverge.
For the next week or so, I'll be sorting out my little thoughts and prepping myself back to school. I'll make the best of my remaining retreat and starting putting down the excess baggage that has been plaguing me. Next semester is gonna be exciting: Sociology, Asian Studies, German Studies, Japanese, Econs, Ballet and Skiing. And in the words of an American, it would be awesome. So there's no time for regret and I'll live for the moment while it lasts :)
ilovetotwirl at 7:21 AM
